


you know the rules and so do i

by kiwisandwich (panconkiwi)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 16:23:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6016311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panconkiwi/pseuds/kiwisandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The problem about losing his phone all the time wasn’t whether or not he could find it again.</p><p>It was a race he'd lost before even starting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you know the rules and so do i

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know? Valentine's Day is also Yamagata's birthday! I actually wrote this ages ago but was too lazy to sit and edit all the horrendous mistakes it had. Never write past your bedtime, kids.  
> Based on Yamagata's current concern. Please don't take it too seriously.
> 
> (Traduciré esto más tarde, aunque no alcanzaré a tenerlo para lo que queda de hoy, disculpen!)

* * *

 

It began with a post-it and a selfie.

Yamagata found his phone at his desk with a little note stuck to it:

_< <better be careful next time! lost phones are really fun to mess around with!>>_

As he got rid of the paper, the screen unlocked to show a picture of Tendou winking at him. Yamagata laughed it off, changed the background, and went on with class as if nothing had happened for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

The second time, Wakatoshi had handed it to him when he got to the classroom. There was a group selfie of all the third years (plus a badly drawn portrait of him as a replacement) in the background, but what struck him weirder were the words of his captain.

“Tendou asked me to remind you about the rules.”

Yamagata realized those two messages had been warning by the third time, when he found his contact list had been replaced by various manga protagonists’ names. Not only did all that take more effort than a selfie, hinting at an increase in prank intensity; even without that into account, the text that accompanied was pretty ominous:

_> >From: Uzumaki Naruto_

_> >hayato-kun! bad things could happen if you keep losing your phone! believe it! (≡`ω´≡)_

So he thought to himself, _Well, I think is about time to put an end to this_ , but his mind wasn’t really set on it, and he did have a tendency for misplacing his phone anytime and anywhere.

The fourth time was less elaborate than the third. When he found his phone, _Line_ was buzzing with notifications.

_> Yamagata Hayato has posted a new status: I’ve decided to quit humanity, it’s finally time for me to embrace true porcupinehood._

_> Oohira Reon has replied: I’m so happy for you, Hayato. You have my full support._

_> Kawanishi Taichi has replied: saw it coming tbh_

_> Goshiki Tsutomu has replied: I’m not really sure how that works but good luck senpai!!!!!!!_

And it just kept on from that.

It was fun, all things considered. Part of him was kind of getting used to it, a little prank, a small surprise to flavour up his day. It was true that some of them were a pain in the ass to fix, but that feeling of anticipation when he found his phone on his desk was addictive, so he let the worst of them slide.

The thing was, that's about when he should've took hands into the matter.

By the twelfth time, after he had spent almost an hour trying to fix his phone’s locale back to Japanese (it couldn’t be English, it couldn’t even be Chinese; Hebrew? _Really?_ ), he finally decided to put an end to this.

A password. That should’ve been enough to keep Tendou away.

Except that this was Tendou Frickin’ Satori.

Seriously why hadn't he seen it coming? Yamahata knew it all had been a mistake the moment he stepped into the classroom, when a small glint by the corner of his eye caught his attention.

There was a lump covered in pink and purple plastic jewellery and ribbons resting on his desk. Shiny, cute, and absolutely cheesy.

His phone, of course. Wakatoshi was nowhere in sight so that probably meant Tendou had placed it there himself.

But it didn’t end there. He didn’t have to input the password to unlock the screen, which was already a bad omen; the background was a mirror selfie this time, Tendou was holding the decorated phone with one hand and a sign with the other:

_< <I ACTUALLY GUESSED THE PASSWORD ON MY FIRST TRY BUT THE NEW LOOK IS FOR BEING MEAN_

_PS: I DELETED MY CONTACT BECAUSE NARUTO IS STUPID AND I HATE IT >>_

* * *

 

Yamagata Hayato was sitting at the cafeteria, lunch still intact, phone nowhere to be seen, and slowly descending into despair.

He had managed to lose his phone only once after the fake jewellery incident, then finding it duct taped to the ceiling right above his desk (damn tall people, and he himself wasn’t even that short), and that had been almost two weeks ago. He was too scared of the consequences now. This wasn’t a game anymore, but terrorism. Tendou was out for Yamagata’s forgetful head.

God, he had learned his lesson, okay? He kept his phone in his pocket and didn’t dare touch it unless it was an emergency, and yes, that did meant no games at all during school. His cats were getting tired of him and Kawanishi had already beaten his highest score in Cookie Run. What had he done to deserve this?

And as if the increasing intensity of each prank wasn’t annoying enough, now he had to deal with this suspense. It was obvious Tendou had his phone, why couldn’t he end it already? What was Tendou scheming? And why did he need _all damn day_?

“Are you sure you’ve looked thoroughly?,” had asked Wakatoshi as he finished his second ration, because Yamagata had reached the point where even he could see the big mess this whole situation had become and the way it was driving him nuts. Or maybe it was just the fact that his own plate was still full. The thought of Tendou Satori and his mental games had ruined his appetite.

He took a deep breath before talking. “Yes, I’ve searched all around, three times, I even went to the office earlier to see if anyone had returned it.”

“Any luck?”

 _What do you think_ , no that was mean. It wasn’t Wakatoshi’s fault. “Not at all.”

“Maybe you’ve just left it at home today?”

“No, I’m sure I checked it this morning after the showers, and I’ve looked everywhere between the gymnasium door and the classroom,” Yamagata let a sigh out that contained all of his stress. “It’s obvious Tendou is-”

“From the gymnasium door?”

“Yes, Wakatoshi, that’s what I said.”

“What about the gymnasium?”

“What about that?”

“Did you look in there? Or the changing rooms?”

“If it was in there, then Tendou must have it already.”

“That seems unlikely.”

“I know, that man has no patience, he loves showing off his new moves the moment he is done, but It seems he is making an exception today! I don’t know what he has in mind, but I’m sure it’s no good-”

“I find it odd that you would think that, since Tendou skipped practice this morning.”

“... What?”

Wait, now that he mentioned it, Yamagata remembered the last time he checked his phone had been because Tendou had called.

He had caught a cold and asked the libero to excuse him to the coach, but Yamagata was too busy combing up his hair to do it, so he asked one of the underclassmen to give it to Washijou. And when Shibata, he recalled, brought it back, since Yamagata was still busy he asked the boy to “Just leave it over there, I’ll pick it up in a sec.”

The bell announcing the end of lunch rang, and Yamagata stared at his still untouched lunch in disbelief.

“I know where’s my phone.”

* * *

 

"I’m sure it was around here!”

Eita put everything he had on his hands and tried, he really did, to speak in a calm manner. “Where, _exactly_ , is ‘around here’? You’ve had us looking around for the last ten minutes!”

“Hurry up and get dressed!” shouted the coach from the gym, successfully scaring all of the people in the changing rooms, save for Wakatoshi.

Yamagata thought back to that morning, picking up every detail from his conversation with Tendou. By all means, the phone should have been resting on one of the banks, but they were empty when he got there.

“Perhaps someone came before us and picked it up?,” suggested Reon, who had already given up on the search and was putting on his training clothes.

“But I already checked in the office a million times today.”

“Then maybe they didn’t take it there, they just put it somewhere safer than the banks.”

It was reasonable, there must’ve been at most four other classes that occupied the gymnasium that day, with all that people someone might’ve seated on it by accident. “But where would they put it? The changing rooms are too big.”

“Leave that for later,” Wakatoshi was already dressed and putting his belongings inside his locker. “Practice is about to start. If you still can’t find it after we are done I can lend you my phone until you replace it.”

A light switched on inside Yamagata’s head.

“That’s it! Can someone call me?”

The other third years reached for his phones almost at the same time, but the fastest was Wakatoshi. The four of them became quiet and ten seconds passed ingloriously.

And then, the silence was broken by an 80′s dance pop tune.

“... Is that-?”

“You gotta be kidding me.”

Yamagata shortened the distance from his spot to the source of the music in the blink of an eye. It led him to, of course, his own damn locker.

_We are no strangers to love._

_< <you know the rules and so do i>>_, was what the note on top of his phone said.

* * *

 

“... And then, after tricking you into looking away from your phone, I just had to... ah, wai- _ACHOO!”_

“Ugh.”

There was a brief pause on the other end, it gave Yamagata the time to regret everything he had done wrong in his life. “ _Sowwy_ , Hayato-kun. As I was saying, after _fooling_ you away from your precious phone, I just had to wait a few more minutes for the first class of the day to use the gymnasium, call again, convince a kid to put it into your locker and write the note, and then sleep the rest of the day. I think I deserved some rest after crafting such a master plan.”

“And the combination to my locker?”

“Oh! Guessed it on the first try!”

“Of course. What if I hand’t lost sight of my phone? What if I had brought it back to class with me?”

“There was the possibility, yes, that’s why I was so careful of calling while you were doing your hair.”

Yamagata couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t believe that Tendou would go this far just to for this stupid game. From staying up all morning while he was sick, to monitor this ridiculous _Mission Impossible_ , to the perfect timing. And the way his own sickness played into all of it, it was too convenient. Yamagata would’ve thought it was all part of the plan too if he hadn’t seen Tendou the day before, alive and kicking. He had gotten sick in the course of one night, and schemed this whole madness in the span of one morning. It was pretty unreal.

Just kidding, he knew Tendou enough to accept all of that just like that. The guy was a monster, after all.

... You could say, he did _believe_ it _._

“What I really don’t get is when did you set this ringtone, I didn’t let go of my phone in two weeks. What was it? Bluetooth? Wireless hacking?”

“Haha, you watch too many spy flicks, Hayato-kun!,” Look who’s talking! “I actually set it two weeks ago, but since you always have it on vibrate, it remained a secret,” Tendou’s voice became rougher with every word and there was another pause, some coughing and then, the sound of drinking. “But that’s what made this prank work today! You heard me calling without ever finding out about our friend Rick Astley, and when the other boy found this phone I asked him to unmute it. The rest is history.”

It was hard to admit, but the guy was amazing. Now that all his stress was gone, Yamagata could afford to look at it from an outsider’s perspective, and recalling every step of his day was pretty fun, actually.

Well damn, he really enjoyed this little race of them.

“And _you_ of all people did all of that?,” Yamagata teased. “Sound pretty fishy to me, are you sure you didn’t get any help?”

“Whaaaat? Come on, Hayato-kun! This is a one man miracle. You gotta believe it-!”

There was a clapping sound, and Yamagata could barely hold back his laughter when he realized it had been Tendou’s hands slapping over his own mouth.

“Go to sleep, Naruto.”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT! HE IS DEAD TO ME!!”

Yamagata hung up at the border of a laughing fit. And to think Tendou still had a couple days of rest, two days where Yamagata would play Cookie Run as much as he wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> No, Tendou didn't like Naruto's ending. He was rooting for SasuNaru.
> 
> [Comission info.](http://panconkiwi.tumblr.com/post/154558359169/you-can-see-examples-of-my-english-work-here)


End file.
